What to do if you are worried someone may be thinking about suicide

Signs that someone may be struggling, include: 

• becoming anxious

• becoming more irritable or confrontational

• becoming withdrawn or unusually quiet

• experiencing mood swings

• acting recklessly

• sleeping too much or too little

• avoiding friends, family or social activities

• having difficulties at work, college, university or school

• saying negative things about themselves

Someone may need urgent help if they are:

• talking about wanting to die or end their life

• talking or writing about death, dying or suicide

• making plans to take their own life

• storing medication or other means to harm themselves

• giving away belongings or putting their affairs in order

They may also say things such as:

• 'I wish I hadn't been born'

• 'People would be better off without me'

• 'I hate myself'

It can feel uncomfortable to ask someone if they are thinking about suicide, but asking directly is one of the best ways to encourage an honest conversation.

You could ask:

• 'Are you thinking about suicide?'

• 'Have you been having thoughts about ending your life?'

• 'Have you been feeling like you do not want to go on?'

Choose a private place where you will not be interrupted and give the person time to talk.

Remember:

• Asking about suicide does not put the idea into someone's head

• You do not need to have all the answers

• Listening is more important than fixing the problem

• Help is available

What if they say yes?

If someone tells you they are having suicidal thoughts:

• stay calm and listen

• take what they say seriously

• let them talk without judging or interrupting

• acknowledge how difficult things may feel for them

• avoid trying to solve all their problems

• ask if they feel safe right now

• encourage them to seek professional support

• offer to help them contact a support service

• stay with them if they are at immediate risk of harming themselves

Remember, you do not need to be an expert. Being there, listening and helping someone get support can make a real difference.

Here are some ways that you can support someone to get help in Sussex. All services are free: 

• Call NHS 111 and select the mental health option (available 24/7). To request an interpreter, please ask someone to call on your behalf and say which language is needed.

• Call the Samaritans on 116 123  (available 24/7) 

• Visit a Staying Well service (out-of-hours mental health crisis support service for people aged 18+ available in Brighton, Crawley, Eastbourne, Hastings and Worthing). If you need an interpreter, these services can call for interpretation help while you are with them. 

• Text the word SUSSEX to 85258 (24/7 mental health text-messaging support service). If you are using Google Translate, please tell the mental health professional that you don’t speak English and they will work with you and support you to feel calmer. 

• Download the Stay Alive app - a suicide prevention resource full of useful information and tools to help you stay safe in crisis.

Helpful resources

• Zero Suicide Alliance offers free online training on suicide awareness and how to help someone who may be contemplating suicide.

• First Hand is for anyone affected by witnessing a suicide, when they did not know the person who has died

Bereavement support

• Cruse Bereavement Support provides support for people bereaved by, or affected by, suicide who are a resident across Sussex.

Further sources of mental health support and information are on the How Are You Really Feeling? website